It's OK to Cry

            Have you ever had one of those days where things were not going well for you and the only thing that made you feel better was a good cry?  Babies have days like that, too.  Our culture focuses so much on getting our babies to stop crying that we forget that maybe what they need most is a chance to cry.  Think about it.  During the first few months babies are adjusting to life outside the womb.  There are bright lights, strange noises and bodily functions that they didn’t have to deal with before they were born.  On top of that, they no longer have the rocking motion and feeling of protection that they had in the womb.  Sometimes babies just need to vent about their frustrations with this new world.

            So am I telling you to let your baby Cry It Out?  Not at all.  The Cry It Out method recommends that you leave your baby to cry alone.  What I am suggesting is that if other methods such as feeding or changing your baby have not calmed her down and you know that she is not sick, she may just want you to sit and hold her while she cries.  You can try laying her on your chest for some skin to skin contact or just hold her and talk to her as she cries. 

            Sitting with your baby while she cries may also lower your stress.  Much of the stress from a crying baby comes from a parent’s worry that they must get their baby to stop crying.  If you are able to let go of the misguided notion that you can and must solve all of your baby’s struggles, you will also be less stressed.  Since babies can sense our stress, your lower stress level may also lower hers. 

            As you sit there calmly with your baby, she will learn that you will always be there for her even if you can’t make her feel better.  You may find that she will continue to come to you for comfort as she gets older when she falls or a friend hurts her feelings.  By simply sitting with your baby, you are creating a bond with her that will last a lifetime.